CONTEST: The Next Robert Langdon Adventure–Sample Entries


It’s Day 3 of the contest and entries are coming in! 

Robert Langdon awoke in Tijuana and began perming his hair. He then met Venus Coco, and he could tell by her almost not quite like something he had seen before that she was foamy.

“Oh, no!” she exclaimed. “Here comes The Order of the Solar Temple! They’re out to get the Golden Alpaca Pelt and have us killed by the Man with Webbed Hands! Let’s hurry into that nearby Christ the Redeemer Statue!” As Langdon ran with Venus he checked the face of his Mickey Mouse [TM] watch.

“Crap! Is it 3:21 PM already? We’ve only got one hour until the Golden Alpaca Pelt is triggered and sleeps!” At last they reached the Christ the Redeemer statue and hid beneath a Rosetta Stone where there was a secret passage. Leaving the Man with Webbed Hands outside the convenient passage, Langdon and his sex object waddled along the passage. Admiring her Pinna, Langdon reflected on how much he’d like to sleeps his new sidekick, but then remembered his life of bachelorhood, which he keeps telling everyone is his choice.

When they’d reached the other end of the tunnel, Langdon’s cell phone rang. It was Professor Hershel Layton.

“Yello?” Langdon answered.“Langdon! It’s me,” he assumed. “It turns out, based on my calculations in Phrenology that the Golden Alpaca Pelt will chew us all unless you can figure out the secret code to unlock it, which was engraved on the Christ the Redeemer statue.”

“I’ve got it!” Langdon exclaimed. “That Big Bird carving on the front of the Christ the Redeemer Statue!”

“What about it?” Venus asked.

“Everybody thinks it’s the universal symbol for perming hair. But according to ancient Aztec belief from which this symbol originated, it’s actually the universal symbol of Dan Brown’s Sense of Self Efficacy as an Author!”

“Jesus Christ!” shouted Venus. Langdon turned to see she was now pinned by The Man with Webbed Hands, who was pointing a spatula at her neck, as though threatening to spill her cherry syrup gushing from a fondue fountain all over the pavement of Tijuana.

“Thanks for solving the puzzle, you soiled piece of tissue!” the Man with Webbed hands said. “But you fell right into my murky trap!” He pointed the spatula at Langdon. In an Instant Langdon fell on the ground, apparently dead. Then the Man with Webbed Hands took off his Senor Bumblebee costume.

“It’s James T. Kirk! Why didn’t I realize it sooner?!” Then she used her Vulcan Nerve Pinch to incapacitate Kirk while he was distracted.

Langdon got up, dusted himself off, and said, “Good thing I only pretended to be dead!” Together he and Venus seized the Golden Alpaca Pelt and disarmed it.

“I would have gotten away with it, too,” said Kirk, “If it wasn’t for you meddling Octogenarians!”

“Well now that’s over, let’s whitewash all the walls,” said Venus.

“Okay!” Langdon alleged. And they drove back to the Christ the Redeemer Statue.

THE END

___________________________________by Julie

Robert Langdon awoke in Albany and began to scratch. He then met Terry, and he could tell by her pug nose she was naughty..

“Oh, no!” she exclaimed. “Here comes The Flippers! They’re out to get Piece of Chalk and have us killed by The Master Fart Blower! Let’s hurry into that nearby Mannequin Pis!” As Langdon ran with Terry, he checked the face of his Mickey Mouse [TM] watch.

“Crap! Is it tea time already? We’ve only got 154 hours until the Piece of Chalk is triggered and destrys every pair of black pants on the planet!” At last they reached the Mannequin Pis and hid beneath a Blarney Stone where there was a secret passage. Leaving the Master Fart Blower outside the convenient passage, Langdon and his sex object waddled along the passage. Admiring her left pinkie toe, Langdon reflected on how much he’d like to chop his new sidekick, but then remembered his life of bachelorhood, which he keeps telling everyone is his choice.

When they’d reached the other end of the tunnel, Langdon’s cell phone rang. It was Scuba Diver.

“Yello?” Langdon answered. “Langdon! It’s me,” he replied. “It turns out, based on my calculations in Warp Engineering that the Piece of Chalk will jump us all unless you can figure out the secret code to unlock it, which was engraved on the Mannequin Pis.”

“I’ve got it!” Langdon growled. “That Awkward Family photo carving on the front of the Mannequin Pis!”

“What about it?” Terry asked.

“Everybody thinks it’s the universal symbol for zip lining. But according to ancient Mayan’s belief from which this symbol originated, it’s actually the universal symbol of Forces of Light!”

“Yo, chief” shouted Terry. Langdon turned to see she was now pinned by Master Fart Blower who was pointing a pastry bag at her neck, as though threatening to spill her sticky Lime Rickey all over the pavement of Albany.

“Thanks for solving the puzzle, you waste of methane!” Master Fart Blower said. “But you fell right into my devious trap!” He pointed the Pastry Bag at Langdon. In an Instant Langdon fell on the ground, apparently dead. Then Master Fart Blower took off his sheath.

“It’s Dr. Huxtable! Why didn’t I realize it sooner?!” Then she used her spoon playing to incapacitate Master Fart Blower while he was distracted.

Langdon got up, dusted himself off, and said, “Good thing I only pretended to be dead!” Together he and Terry seized the Piece of Chalk and disarmed it.

“I would have gotten away with it, too,” said Master Fart Blower, now Dr. Huxtable, “If it wasn’t for you meddling yuppies”

“Well now that’s over, let’s play checkers,” said Terry.

“Okay!” Langdon sighed. And they skipped back to Mannequin Pis..

 THE END ________________________________by ProductHoochie

Below are just some samples of my drawings, to give you an idea of my style. I’ll publish more as I find/sketch them.         IMG-20130510-00007.jpg        

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